The term “standing in your power” is said a lot, but what does it really mean? Is it some pinnacle of personal competency? Is it fulfilling your potential? Is it really about power at all?
By Connie Milligan MSW, LCSW
Table of Contents
You know that you are standing in your power when your words and actions reflect what you have created within yourself.
Having spent most of my career getting to a place where I can say I am standing in my power and now helping others do the same, I understand the steps needed to get there and the signs of having arrived. It is about personal empowerment, something most women aspire to obtain.
It is a two-stage process. First, it is an inside job. When you align your mind, body, and soul, you create a powerful foundation. Second, the way you take this out to the world communicates your power. When your words and actions reflect what you have created inside, you are literally standing in your power.
So, let me review the two stages and the 6 signs that indicate you are standing in your power. See how you are doing, and if you’re not quite there, read the tips on how to move forward.
FIRST STAGE –THE INSIDE WORK OF ALIGNMENT
1. The Soul’s Work – You Have A Sense Of Purpose
This is the most important step! When you do something that has personal meaning, you come from a place deep within your soul. It may be like heeding a call – to do something for others, to leave a mark, make a contribution, or be part of a cause that is important to you.
To live with purpose takes plans and actions.
Consider this, everything serves a purpose. Whatever you do will meet someone else’s needs. The question to ask is does it have meaning for you? Does it match your dreams, imagination, and longing for a certain life? Yes? Congratulations, you are living with purpose!
If you aren’t sure, ask these questions. What would give you meaning, satisfaction, and a sense of personal achievement? What do you value and how can you put that into action? Trust what comes to mind and allow yourself to fantasize about moving into that space. You can do it!
“ When you align your mind, body and soul, you create a powerful foundation …the way you take this out to the world communicates your power”
2. The Mind’s Work – Your Thoughts Are Creative And Goal Directed
To live with purpose takes plans and actions. Your mind’s job is to create the template to follow through with your ideas. The more creative and goal-directed you are, the more you are matching your soul’s purpose with your actions. It is deeply satisfying.
If you are going through the motions of life or following someone else’s plan, the mind is not personally engaged and responsible. It creates an imbalance in your sense of self, leading to dissatisfaction, and even depression. Go back and check what your soul wants.
3. The Body’s Work – You Feel Passion For What You Are Doing
How you feel tells you how you are really doing. The more passion you feel, the more energy and determination you have. It makes you brave and able to ride through disappointments or setbacks. You have the motivation to keep going no matter what. Your passion is your internal fuel.
Not feeling the passion? Whoa, that’s a sign. Maybe you are tired and run down and need a break, or maybe you are on the wrong track. Ask yourself and check-in to see if you are really living your purpose.
SECOND STAGE – THE OUTSIDE SIGNS OF PERSONAL POWER
4. You Speak Your Truth
When you are in alignment with your mind, body, and soul, you are an internal powerhouse. It becomes easier and more necessary to speak your truth. You may have to be careful or hold your tongue to preserve the peace, but you do not lie to yourself or others about what your truth is. You are clear.
If you are not speaking your truth, for whatever reason, you know you are giving your power away. Check and see why. Likely you are in a situation that is not right for you. Go back to the first stage and work on alignment. You may need to change the people, places, or things to align with your truth.
5. You Set Boundary and Don’t Worry What Others Think
When you are in tune with what you think and feel, speaking up and saying no comes easily. It takes time and practice to do it without conflict. When you are a matter of fact, the power of it is hard to argue, and you make yourself understood. You feel the maturity of it.
Being in your power is knowing how to set boundaries.
You know you are in trouble If you have a pattern of you saying yes when mean no, doing things you don’t want, or agreeing when you disagree. It means you are not in your power. The internal conflict it causes is written all over you. There are many reasons for this, please get help.
6. You’re In The Flow
One of the clearest signs of being in your power is watching the synchronicity of what you want coming in with ease. If you think it and it shows up, like magic, you are in the flow. It means the energy on the inside is a match for what you want on the outside. It’s the Law of Attraction in action!
When things are a struggle and there is a lack of flow, stop and regroup. Something is out of balance – maybe it is the wrong time or not right for you. Go through the first 3 steps and see if you are in alignment with what you say you want. This can happen for many reasons, stop, look and reassess.
Connie is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Transformational Life Coach and consultant, and trainer for social justice reform. She has 4 decades of experience, knows exactly what standing in your power is like, and helps others to do the same.
