What Sets Your Soul on Fire?
By Aalia Lanius
I have an interesting relationship with pain—I’m always in it, and to many people’s surprise when they meet me, I represent living with chronic illness and pain.
I also represent someone not allowing those challenges to impede the audacious goals that I am not only capable of doing, but meant to accomplish.
In a world where it is difficult to get out of bed, motivation is pain management for the person who understands that though it “hurts to live”—it hurts more to not live a life where we’re fulfilling our purpose.
Personally, I have a list of active issues that include Sjogren’s Syndrome, an autoimmune disease that attacks the moisture in my body, Rheumatoid Arthritis, another autoimmune disease, fibromyalgia, and one that’s a mouthful, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome—a condition described as “feeling like you’re living with heart failure” even though you’re not. I can attest to this accurate description.
In no order, throughout the day I’m many things, including a mother to 4 (ages 25-5), grandmother, wife, producer, writer, planner, chauffer, laundry maid, talk show host, businesswoman, and founder of UNSUGARCOATED Media, 501c3 media enterprise. From the moment my eyes open, there is something to do. Also, alarmingly present when they open—pain.
Daily, I move and breathe in such a way that eases my discomfort and I have a plethora of lifestyle habits that I’ve adopted which allows me to manage life and projects. This includes working hard, knowing my limits and mitigation. On the list: eating foods that aid my body, yoga, meditation, and much more, but in my experience, the key to unlocking our abilities is our mindset.
A perfect example, as I’m writing this piece, I can feel pain in my fingers as I hit the keys on my laptop, yet I’m enjoying this moment and all that it brings. I’ll share three mindset upgrades that gave me the upper hand on pain.
“I’m the captain of this ship.”
While pain in the body is a beacon, an indicator, our brain is Mission Control Center. Your “Houston”, and every cell in your body is on a mission. We, whether we realize it or not, are issuing commands and responses. While many of those become automated, we still have influence over the messages our bodies receive and reinforce.
In 2013, my adopted sister nearly died from a traumatic brain injury. Watching her journey from a coma, through the following year was nothing less than incredible and it reinforced my belief that when it comes to the brain, we often fail to understand our own power.
Over the course of time, my sister had to rebuild the pathways in her brain that allowed her body to move, speak, and even smile. I recall at one point, after she was finally able to come home, her right wrist would still bend awkwardly, pointing towards her body. She explained that part of her therapy was to sit and mentally tell her hand to straighten. In observing her, there was no denying—we are the captains of our ships, and our body listens to us.
A critical part of my lifestyle is actively spending time with my body. It is healthy to acknowledge the pain that it’s feeling, but we can command the body to self-heal. An exercise I do involves visualization. In my mind’s eye, I’ll focus on how I want to see myself. I have found that I’m living the way I “see” myself, because it is true, our thoughts shape our reality. What thoughts are shaping your life?
“I am not a burden.”
People with illness or pain experience an overwhelming sense of guilt and frustration, often further inhibiting their activity. I’ve overcome the guilt of not being the perfect wife, mother, or business owner. I can’t undo the health challenges or the way it shows up in my life, but I can and do ask people in my world to be patient and I show appreciation for the support I receive.
Good health is something many people take for granted and while I’m aware I got an early preview of what many people will come to experience eventually, I’m not going to feel guilty for issues beyond my control.
If anything, I’ve learned that any extraordinary capability comes from a flaw and those of us that find ourselves challenged in one area, tend to excel in others.
That is how I know I’m not a burden because I refuse to give up and I highly encourage others to recognize all the other ways you bring value to your life, your family, and your community.
“Not all pain is bad pain.”
Years ago, I had a client that owned a physical rehab center and explained re-conditioning therapy for patients who had suffered work-related injuries. Physical reconditioning is an individualized treatment program designed in order to allow an individual to return and possibly exceed their original level of strength, endurance, power, mobility, and physical activity in general.
In order to build up strength, you need resistance. I learned that the program requires the patient to be uncomfortable for a short period. Does it hurt? Yes, but it wasn’t a pain that meant something was wrong, and it was an important lesson in understanding, not all pain is bad. In fact, feeling pain can be part of the process of becoming stronger again.
Each of these mental shifts is part of an overall desire to master your mind, body, and spirit. If you’re not interested in having pain in your body hold you back, these are some of the keys. I’m aware it’s not easy, but I’m going to ask you to dig down deep into your soul and pull out the part that makes you so hungry for what you seek, that you’ll stop allowing pain to prevent you from doing what it is you feel you are meant to do in life.
In closing, though I’m speaking to physical pain, I feel the same about emotional pain, or anything that is holding you back. Find what sets your soul on fire and stop extinguishing your own flame. You can shine the way you’re intended and remember that you’re either chasing your dream or resisting it—the choice will always be yours.
About Aalia
Aalia Lanius is an International Multiple-Award Winning Novelist, Executive Producer, Publisher, and host “UNSUGARCOATED with Aalia.” She creates social impact through storytelling while building community, providing education, and ending isolation for trauma survivors. Aalia’s role extends to leadership as a creative, and she is considered a thought-leader in approaches to media, believing that artists are pioneers of the human mind with great potential and responsibility to positively influence society through proper representation and accountability.
